1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
