You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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