He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
