i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
