So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I will be naked everywhere
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
