just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
