i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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