Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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