Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
