Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
