Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
