in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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