Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
