he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
