You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
