Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
