I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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