yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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