So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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