i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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