That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
