Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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