dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
