I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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