Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize