DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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