fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
