well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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