ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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