sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
