Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
