i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
