Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
