I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
