from now on my penis is your penis
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
