Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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