There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just google imaged poop.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
