just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
