It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You are a genius and a whore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
