i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
