I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
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