Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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