his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
