I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
