God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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