how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize