ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
