Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I am a bulletproof tiger!

(615): View more from Tennessee

Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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(828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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(606): Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier. http://tfl.nu/kkf1

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(240): View more from Maryland

i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.

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(240): i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with. http://tfl.nu/66qi

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(207): View more from Maine

at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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(207): at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally http://tfl.nu/d50n

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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(505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4

Replies (11) Good night (773) Bad night (2622) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...

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(216): You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them... http://tfl.nu/jngm

Replies (4) Good night (2518) Bad night (633)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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(832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm

Replies (4) Good night (2960) Bad night (548)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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(267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse

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(602): View more from Arizona

If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!

(623): View more from Arizona

It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...

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(602): If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection! (623): It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now... http://tfl.nu/u3ol

Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (646)
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(509): View more from Washington

We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

(1-509): View more from Washington

You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

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(509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h

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(303): View more from Colorado

Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.

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(303): Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking. http://tfl.nu/0bij

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(937): View more from Ohio

we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.

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(937): we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order. http://tfl.nu/a6f0

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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(+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww

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(815): View more from Illinois

I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.

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(815): I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win. http://tfl.nu/e10p

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(817): View more from Texas

We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden

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(817): We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden http://tfl.nu/u7tp

Replies (11) Good night (1842) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt

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