i don't like sucking hair
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts