It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.