He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
