Dual....:-)
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
