haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
