I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
