I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize