What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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