Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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