I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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