You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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