It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
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Have fun and good luck.
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