I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
