dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
