you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it's like iHOP with fire
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
