you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize