ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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