No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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