my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
