You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
