I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?