I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today