this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
