How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.