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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”

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• (813): View more from Florida

  If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me

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• (727): View more from Florida

  did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties

  Fav 8 1093 1983

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Come camping we have xanax and steaks

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just want things to go smoothly

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  oh they won't lmao

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