you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
