Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

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(847): You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear (1-847): Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat http://tfl.nu/fogp

Replies (2) Good night (1782) Bad night (749)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Call me so I can make it juicy for ya

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(704): Call me so I can make it juicy for ya http://tfl.nu/dgtu

Replies (8) Good night (1545) Bad night (714)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.

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(513): I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House. http://tfl.nu/zhy5

Replies (27) Good night (1032) Bad night (3031)
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(972): View more from Texas

The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?

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(972): The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid? http://tfl.nu/xjdi

Replies (15) Good night (797) Bad night (3415)
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(804): View more from Virginia

i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.

(804): View more from Virginia

i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.

(786): View more from Florida

that would mean it's on tape

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(804): i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately. (804): i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof. (786): that would mean it's on tape http://tfl.nu/zipf

Replies (6) Good night (4017) Bad night (1042)
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(317): View more from Indiana

I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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(317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft

Replies (36) Good night (7311) Bad night (1628)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.

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(405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever. http://tfl.nu/wct5

Replies (15) Good night (1370) Bad night (5828)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks

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(617): cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks http://tfl.nu/gqzi

Replies (11) Good night (3503) Bad night (868)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

10 points to you

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(717): He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture. (1-717): 10 points to you http://tfl.nu/7e2v

Replies (8) Good night (2246) Bad night (536)
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(607): View more from New York

I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

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(607): I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/nmbl

Replies (4) Good night (1014) Bad night (446)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.

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(480): Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night. http://tfl.nu/s016

Replies (10) Good night (1590) Bad night (480)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.

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(918): I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time. http://tfl.nu/atlw

Replies (1) Good night (815) Bad night (363)
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(206): View more from Washington

I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug

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(206): I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug http://tfl.nu/jw7j

Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (310)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week

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(703): The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week http://tfl.nu/myyh

Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (850)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.

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(503): Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now. http://tfl.nu/72i7

Replies (0) Good night (363) Bad night (703)

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