i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
